the pregnancy.
11.08.2002, 2:10 p.m.

yesterday was josh's and mine 1 year anniversary. we couldn't really do anything special because he had to work from 10 in the morning til 2. then he had to go to school. he had to register for next semesters classes before 5 (which we found out it was supposed to be before 4). he went to school late. but i didn't get to his house until after 4, then we had to go to the college before 5, then he had to leave for school around 6:40, plus he had to write a paper. then he got out of school at 9:40 and it didn't give us much time. so, tonight we're going to see 8 mile. don't know what else is going on.

so, yesterday josh gave me a present. it's a promise ring. it's beautiful. the diamond thingy (i think it's the cheaper diamond though, which is perfectly fine because i don't want him to spend oodles of money on the promise ring, that comes for the engagement ring and wedding *wink*) is bigger than i would probably pick, but it's beautiful. i was surprised he did that because his hours have been cut from 30+ hours a week to about 13-19 hours a week. which means a lot less money. he started getting unemployment, plus working (since they cut his hours so much, unemployment will give him some money, not a ton, but some). he's been busy. plus all the other shit going down.

and if you direct your attention to my wonderful notes page, i can't keep it a secret any longer.

yes, i am pregnant. that's why i stopped writing here. there were a few reasons. one, i didn't want to discuss it here because of some of the people who read this. some people, i know, will be judgemental pricks, and at this time i don't need to deal with you. so if your going to be a judgemental prick, goodbye. oh, and an example of a judgemental prick is kate. it's none of her goddamn business whether i'm pregnant or not. i've completely ignored her and mike's existance. i learned some things about wonderful kate that make me cringe, so whatever. i'm not getting into the petty game. i know her and mike think josh and i are trailer trash, but we aren't. and josh and i are yuppy pricks who look down our noses at people with less money than us. mike, however, did message me, and he wasn't mean or anything, so i have nothing against him. it's just kate. because she is a judgemental prick. and it's none of her business.

so, anyway. i am pregnant. i started my 7th month this week. i'm going to be 29 weeks pregnant next week. which means 11 more weeks. we are keeping the baby. and we know it's a girl. and we know what we're naming her. but i'm not posting it until she's here.

i was planning on not mentioning her here until i had her, but things don't always go as planned.

i'm not big at all, actually. i just started fitting into mediums of maternity clothes. that was about 2 weeks ago. before that, i could wear my normal clothes for about 6 months, then i had to wear baggier stuff. now i'm starting to get a pregnant belly. my boobs have grown like weeds. they were the first things to grow. they are getting quite large, considering my small frame. so, yea. second trimester, 29 weeks.

that's abotu it. that's why i've been throwing up so much, that's why my life has changed so much. i'm going to be a mom around january 29, 2003 (which is when i'm due). josh and i are, obviously, still together. he's going to college and i'm struggling through high school because of how sick i've been and how much hell this pregnancy has caused. but it's turning out to be a nice thing. my dad won't acknowledge the babies existance, he thinks us keeping it is 'the wrong decision.' but if i gave a damn about what he said, i would be a horrible person. my mom and josh's parents are excited, nickie's throwing me a baby shower, and all is peachy. my sister seems to still have a little trouble with the whole me being pregnant thing, but she gave josh and i a lot of stuff. she gave me about 22 pairs of infant socks, about 15-10 onsies, 4 newborn t-shirts, a whhoooollllee bunch of sleepers, a few outfits, recieving blankets, hooded towels, burp clothes, washclothes, 2 monitors, a diaper bag, a carseat (her neighbors going to give me a stroller and my sister things that the carseat will fit into the stroller), maternity clothes, 2 diaper pails, and her sister-in-law is lending me her bassinet with a few crib sheets.

so, things are going alright. we took lamaze classes at this pregnancy clinic for teens we go to. we're seeing a counselor there who is helping us deal with the turbulence of being teenage parents. i turned 18 on october 27, which is weird. but eh.

this entry is all jumbled. it kind of feels good to write in here again. i think i'm going to keep doing the other diary (i have a pregnancy diary) because it's been there through all the good and bad times. and no, i'm not posting the url in here because kate and mike are NOT knowing what it is.

that's about all i've got to say.

later.

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