addicted.
10.10.2005, 12:27 a.m.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

i think the problem is being here. i think that seeing you this way is ripping me apart, piece by piece. i don't know how much more of this i can take. i don't know how much longer i can stand here and watch this slow destruction. i think i'm trying too hard. i think i'm not trying hard enough...

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

looking back over the years spent in this diary, i realize that maybe it's time to move on. too many memories that just aren't important anymore. too many events. it really doesn't feel like home here anymore. but after everything that i've recorded here... all the years i've spent here... how can i go some place else?

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

maybe i'll be moving somewhere else soon. maybe i'll leave this place behind me and leave behind everything else... maybe it's just time.

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

perhaps i'll be here again. perhaps i will just forget everything here and more somewhere else without a trace. we'll see.

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

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